Monday, 19 September 2011

Down in the Dumps

I am feeling like Tennyson's 'Lady of Shalott' today "I am half sick of shadows," said The Lady of Shalott. Although it is amazing how smelly and messy you can get just lying in bed - I am distinctly less Titian and flowing than Tennyson's heroine is generally portrayed!

Since my hospital visit last Wednesday I haven't been out of the house - neither have I had the energy or inclination. Apart from bathroom trips; occasional visits downstairs for food, TV and cat-time - I actually haven't much left the bed.

The five day course of Methylprednisolone steroids have run their course (thank goodness) - so the constant low-grade headache and sore-throat are gone too. I had forgotten that the instant reaction to the end of the course is a monster upset stomach - so that was a nice surprise today. Nice neuropathic burning pain in my hands and lower arms has joined the roster of complaint - lucky I still had some Gabapentin left and the Nurse says it is OK to take it!

Now onto the endless (seemingly) three week tapering course of Prednisolone. Something better start working soon. Right now I still can't walk (lurching and staggering rules!) - this is taking forever to type (but is easier than the row I had with Microsoft's Ease of Access Speech Recognition). The foregoing means I can't go to work - couldn't be worse timing as a colleague has just left and we are short staffed (again)! Add to that the mind numbing boredom - fed up with movies, too tired for Xbox, fed up with reading - used up the internet. I think my brain may begin to stagnate.

Twitter just depresses me as it reminds me that the world is busy doing things whilst I have a patch of sky with a tree to look at. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself today. 

I am lucky that I have my family; the Better-Half nurses me and waits on me (even though he's got a cold); my Mum calls me every day; and Kitten-cat is doing his best to be my constant companion (even if he is mostly asleep!).

As Buffy sang in the famous musical episode 'Once More with Feeling'... "Where do we go from here?".


  1. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself when things suck and you have no control over it. I'm so glad that you ended that post with shout outs to the positive forces in your life.

    Wherever you can find the strength to push on, right?

    All the best to you in you in your tough ongoing journey.

  2. Thanks for the words of support... we're all in this together, eh?!

    Happily that relapse too did pass and I'm back on my feet (such as they are) again.