Another course of steriods

The latest relapse has shown no improvement. I'd say, if anything, things have got worse. My right hand is barely functional now and even worse I keep dropping things (so far today my lunch and a pot from the fridge which then split all over the floor).

So, back to the steroids... it is the really aggressive course this time. Nearly £30 at the chemist to get all the required medication.

Twelve tablets for seven days, followed by six tablets for seven days and finishing with three tablets for seven days.

I addition the yellow tablet (which gets taken twice a day) to protect my stomach and the calcium tablet (also twice a day) which given the size is fortunately chewable. There are also my two regular tablets to add to the morning batch and a sleeping tablet at night as steroids rob me of sleep.

Phew! Hopefully the steroids will work and things will get back to normal soon - otherwise I may have to learn to become left handed!

Finally reached stage five?

I read somewhere once that when you discover you have a debilitating or long term illness you go through the same process as when grieving. The famous five stages of grief (outlined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross) denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. 

For the longest time I was stuck at the first stage... denial. Because my MS was mostly remission and very little relapse for the first few years after diagnosis I pretty much ignored it and pretended to myself that it was all a big mistake.

Stages two and three happened pretty much one after the other when in 2007 I suffered a pretty major relapse which ended up with me being stuck in bed for around six weeks. At first I was angry because I was missing work and I was extremely bored; then I was making deals with my capricious health... you know the sort of thing; "I'll ease off the hours if I can just be well enough to go back to work".

Depression hit around a year ago when it hit me how long I'd been continuously using the stick and how  nothing seemed to have got much better in the longest time and therefore probably wasn't ever going to.

Now, finally, after so many years I seem to have reached acceptance. I know this because I sent of my application for a blue badge today.

Look no hand(s)....

Two weeks on from the steroids and nothing has gotten any better. I would, in fact, go as far as to say things have got worse. The loss of sensation in my right hand, which had only been affecting the little to middle fingers badly has now worked all the way across to my index finger and down my palm. 

The problem with this is really only inconvenience. I can't write properly because I can't feel the pen; I can't type properly because I'm a touch typist and I keep missing letters that require the left hand (especially 'o' and 'p')... I also can't do up buttons or jewellery... I can't use a mouse properly with the computer... it is all very frustrating.

I spoke to my nurse on Friday who is going to send me the protocols for the three week steroid course to give to my doctor. Hopefully this might have a positive effect...

My feet have also shown no improvement, which means that I'm still using the crutches to make sure that I don't fall over. Again the biggest problem with this is getting things done... try going to the supermarket with no hands!!!

No improvement

The course of steroids is happily finished. I got an extra night of not being able to sleep just to round things out - didn't sleep until 3am on Thursday morning and then predicitably felt utterly rubbish when I did eventually wake up. Lucky I had a day off yesterday!

I have noticed no improvement with the numbness in hands and feet. It is really beginning to be inconvenient now as the right hand side is much worse affected than the left... and of course I'm right handed. Can't type properly, can't write properly, can't do my hair and make up properly... the frustration!!!

In addition my circulation is very poor, this means that my feet (especially the useless right foot) are constantly freezing.

Award

Thanks to Herrad who sent me this award.

Steroids - days 2 and 3

I'm now in the middle of my five day curse (I mean course) of steroids. The taste of the damn things is still vile and stays with me pretty much all day (well at least to dinner time). In addition a rather unpleasant side effect is that breathing has become as if on a cold (bitter) winter's day... every time I take a breath in my trachea is sore. Hopefully this time I won't actually get a chest infection, which is what happened last time I took steroids.

I haven't noticed any improvement yet... but I guess that it is early days. Not being able to type and write properly is driving me up the wall... as is the lack of manual dexterity... I managed to peel my knuckles instead of the potatoes the other night!

Still, taking it easy of the weekend has been great. Apart from a bit of pottering in the garden (where it doesn't matter if you fall over) I've not been anywhere or done anything. Not looking forward to the journey to work with the crutches tomorrow.

The truce is over

MS and I have a deal - I don't bother it and it doesn't bother me (although I'm not sure that sticking my thigh with an inch long needle once a week counts as 'not bothering it'!). That's the theory anyway. The latest period of remission had been lasting for a while - and I was feeling quietly optimistic for 2010. Fool!

The first sign that something was wrong was in the middle of February when I kept getting these waves of dizziness. Not exactly dizziness - it is hard to describe the odd feeling that flashed through my head about two dozen times a day. Nothing else happened and it went away, dodged it this time I thought. Fool again!

Then about a week ago I noticed that my feet were numb... pretty much all the way from the big toe to the little toe on both feet... making it very hard to walk. And the same time my legs were feeling week. The stick was no longer keeping me on the straight and narrow so I purchased a pair of crutches.

At the same time I also lost feeling over most of the right hand side of my body. Not much inconvenience except for my hand - I'm right handed (of course!). I can't write properly as I can't hold a pen and I can't type properly... I've been a touch typist for fifteen years and I've forgotten how to type any other way! That is why it has taken several days to complete this post!

On Monday I spoke to my MS Nurse and she gave me an appointment for Wednesday. I went in Wednesday (my aim, to get steroids). Of course the first thing that happened was my bladder got a fit of nerves and I wasn't able to give a urine sample. She called in the Neuro to write the prescription; who was in excellent form, he scribbled the 'scrip for the vile blue steroids and even a stock of sleeping tablets high-fived me and was gone. One problem remaining. Not allowed to take the steroids until the urine was tested for infections. I spent a further half hour being fed water by the nurse until I managed to fill the cup... only to be told that I could take the pills as the sample had to be sent away for testing!

Back to work then... having already had a lecture from the Nurse about easing off the hours etc. Good thing that the next day I got a call saying the sample was clear and I could start the treatment. 

Which brings us to Friday morning. Tablet city. Omeroprazole before breakfast (to keep the stomach safe from the steroids) - Methylprednisolone after breakfast (five vile blue tablets)... how could I have forgotten how bad they taste?!?! Next regular medication - Loratadine to stop the itching and Citalopram (because you have to take it for six months after you start feeling better). Now I rattle.

Last night I also had to take my Avonex. This was an excellent experience (for once) as this week was the right thigh which is pretty much totally numb! I then took two paracetemol and the Zopiclone so thoughtfully prescribed... and slept clear through to 9am (almost unheard of on an Avonex night).

I've just swallowed this mornings tablet pile and am once again tasting blue steroid every time I breathe in. Still, hopefully it will work some!